Ted Walker

Flash fiction: Totally Pooped by Ryan Slie

Ted Walker
Flash fiction: Totally Pooped by Ryan Slie

The following piece of fiction is a guest post by friend of the podcast Ryan Slie, written in response to one of Adam's notebook prompts, "when nothing rings true." (Sign up for Notebook Prompts here.)

I woke up today to my son telling me he was very sweaty. He had NOT wet the bed, but it just looked that way because of all the sweating. My wife suggested I should take care of it, because she had slept less than three hours and twenty-two minutes for some reason and had literally been laying there awake for the last several hours, with the exception of the previous nineteen minutes. 

My neighbor was taking out two full cans of rattling wine bottles for recycling as I left for work and mentioned some plans to invite our family over for dinner any day now. I said that sounded great and we’d look forward to it. 

After I explained how awful the traffic had been that morning, due to what appeared to be a gruesome accident, my boss asked if it would be okay if she recommended I take over the  supervision of our team. While it is company policy that an employee have six months with the  company before being offered a promotion, she felt confident that I was ready after just two. 

I told her I couldn’t think of any reason why that wouldn’t or shouldn’t be considered a  fantastic idea. I became very busy telling people how busy my day had been, then called my wife to tell her that I’d be right home. 

While safely driving, a very courteous man wondered if I knew why he had pulled me over. I promised I had not been drinking, but had taken some allergy medication that seemed to be disagreeing with me. While he seemed unconvinced, we both agreed a judge would see my side of things and all would be well. He offered to give me a ride home and I told him nothing would make me happier. 

As I explained to my wife and kids that the officer had saved me from an attempted car jacking and that he recommended I take an intensive martial-arts class in the mountains for approximately eighteen months, my son asked me why my pants were all wet. 

I told him the day had made me very sweaty.


  • Written for “When Nothing Rings True,” a notebook prompt from Adam Webb.
  • Written in my first Field Notes “Kraft Edition” notebook.
  • Written on my first Staple Day.
  • Written with the PaperMate InkJoy Gel 0.7.


The Notebook Prompts edition in question:

You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.
                                   - Zen proverb.


  • The thing you never have time for
  • When nothing rings true
  • God in inconvenient places (e.g. proselytizing T.S.A. agent)
  • "We like these people -- I guess"